Monday, December 25, 2006

The day hath arrived

Well, it's late Christmas day. The toys are all open and more importantly assembled. Kids are frolicking, my wife is taking advantage of decent internet connectivity, dead animals are roasting in the oven to delicious yumminess. We're having mashed potatoes just like mom used to make. I think this is because mom made them, but I can't be sure.

Various vegetable casseroles are cooking, a nice squash casserole and everyone's favorite, green bean casserole with the little dried onion thingies on top.

My wife got me a possum for Christmas. Not a real one, I've had enough of those, but a stuffed one. I've decided to name him Floyd the Ferocious. Nice possum sounding name. I found a possum floating in my hot tub last year, just before Thanksgiving. Yeah, I know, you're thinking "hey, possum stew, when do we eat". Well this guy had been floating for a few days and had turned the water a murky brown and stank. I fished what was left of him out (where's Mike Rowe of Dirty Jobs fame when you really need him?). Chunks of said possum had already begun to fall off, so I only had enough time to drain the tub before we left town.

We happened to be in a Cracker Barrel at some point this year when we saw the possum and I made a crack about it resembling the one in the hot tub, so my wife decided to get it to commemorate the occasion. How sweet!

Now let's eat...

Saturday, December 23, 2006

Man Cooking

Every so often I like to cook. Nothing fancy, my wife will be the first to tell you me in a kitchen is like Paris Hilton at a Mensa convention. Just don't seem to fit in.

Still, I can handle simple things. By that I mean don't ask me to try and cook several dishes at once. One pot is about all I can handle. Chili, for example, I make a decent pot of chili. Or "Whatcha got stew", whereby I find some sort of meat, like a nice turkey sausage, and throw it in a frying pan along with whatever vegetables I can find.

I've also discovered my utensils of choice are wooden. I don't know why, but wooden utensils just seem more... manly somehow. They have a nice heft to them, unlike the dainty plastic. Metal would be OK, if it weren't for the fact that they scratch up my wife's pans then I have to blame the scratches on the dog. Of course she never believes me and starts beating me with the pans anyway. Hmm, I wonder if we actually had a dog maybe she might start believing me. Might have to try that sometime. But I digress...

Yes, for now I think wood utensils are nicest for cooking. Don't have to worry about melting them (like I did with her spatula) or breaking them in the dishwasher (like I did with the ladel).

Sometimes some of the best dishes don't even take more than a simple knife to make. Take my famous nutty dogs for example. Get a hotdog bun, spread out a layer of peanut butter. Now sprinkle on some chopped onions. Now go nuke a hot dog in the microwave for a minute or three, once cooked plunk in the bun. Yum! A tasty treat that'll stick to the roof of your mouth.

Friday, December 22, 2006

Happy Anniversary

Just wanted to take a second to wish my wonderful wife a happy 10th anniversary. For a decade now my long suffering bride has had to put up with the likes of me. For that she deserves a gold medal, but all I can do is offer my undying love.

Happy Anniversary Sweetie!

Thursday, December 14, 2006

That special gift for the special someone in your life

Do you have the person on your list you hate to buy gifts for. You know, that person who seems to have everything? Or maybe it's a person who you want to send "that special message to". Well have I got the gift for you.

http://shrinkster.com/km1

Yes, you can now buy a one of a kind, hand crafted (well, I think they used their hands anyway, might have been some other body part) item for that persnickity person on your gift list. Avoid the Christmas rush, buy now.

Sunday, December 03, 2006

Celebrity Deaths

Found an odd site for tracking celebrity deaths: http://www.celebritydeathbeeper.com/. Let's you see who croaked! Important if you're a celebrity obsessed person who likes to send flowers.

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